Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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