ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize