is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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