i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
sarcasm needs its own font
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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