Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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