Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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