don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
