Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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