Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
