this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
