i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
