Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
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Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
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Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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