Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
