the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
