Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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