It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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