if i can run in heels then i can drive
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize