It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
