This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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