Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
