I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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