This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
