forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
