everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
