pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
