Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
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he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
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Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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