My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
