i need an iv and a liver transplant
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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