He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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