he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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