Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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