my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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