dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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