Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Sorry my hands just texted you
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Sorry about my life...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
