3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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