my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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