We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize