I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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