Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
