If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
