She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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