what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize