Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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