This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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