Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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