So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
