I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
