Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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