We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
