i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's blow job season.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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