Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize