Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
