one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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