escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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