Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
