I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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