he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
