Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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