? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
