And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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