he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
