she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We left the knife in your bed.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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