shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
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