he thought i was a dude.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
send nudes
from the living room?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
