Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
