just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
