i just had sex bonerless
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
