So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
