i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I think a kid would responsible me up
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
