I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
